In an effort to sort out all the bad karma I am almost certainly due because of nefarious past deeds, I’m going to attempt to tackle the problem head on by periodically apologising for them in my blog. They’re in no particular order; not chronological, nor in terms of severity. They’re just appearing in the order they pop into my head.
Apology #5
One time I was at my ex-girlfriends house and she was working pretty hard on an essay for college. While I admired her dedication this left me somewhat at a loose end. I wasn’t allowed to play computer games because they were distracting (I noticed we were allowed to watch Emmerdale, though) and so I was mainly just sat watching her writing an essay, which for me is a silver medal at the boring Olympics behind actually writing one myself. In fact, I’m not even sure why she invited me round to sit there and watch her write an essay. What sort of night is that?
Anyway, she went downstairs to make a cup of tea, and then for some reason, and I’m not really sure why, I decided to write the innocent little word ‘monkeys’ into the middle of one of her sentences. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’d like to say that I thought that after the stress of an essay, seeing the word while reading it back through would raise a smile, and make her think of my mischievous face. It would taste of a lie to say that though, because I was just being a crank. A scoundrel.
Anyway, she rang me up two days later (the night before it was due) in floods of tears because she was reading back through her essay and some fucking dick and written ‘monkeys’ in the middle of one of her sentences so she had to spend half an hour she didn’t have writing out the entire page again. It was pretty sour, so I went and played Final Fantasy VII to make myself feel better.
I’m sorry for writing ‘monkeys’ into your essay and making you write a whole page out again for nothing and then making my excuses to get off the phone because I was halfway through the boss fight with Demon Gate on Final Fantasy VII and it can get really tough when you’re playing with one hand because you’re on the phone to a crying girl.
Sorry.
:)
